Something’s Not Right: What Makes Us Sick? – Maria Rivera

If we want to make as many people as sick as possible, I suggest the following strategy:

Conduct a media campaign to promote fear. Worry and stress suppress the immune system, lowering the body’s resistance to illness. Televise images of full ICUs and lots of coffins and suggest that this is the case — or will be — everywhere. Focus so much attention on illness that people lose perspective of the other risks of daily life and focus ONLY on illness and how THEY ARE AT RISK — whether or not that is the case.

Force people to stay indoors. Discourage being outside in the fresh air, where the risk of catching a respiratory virus is virtually nonexistent. Also, the lack of exposure to sunshine will keep their vitamin D levels low, and low vitamin D levels are associated with more respiratory infections.

To keep the general health as poor as possible, discourage exercise and promote sedentary activities such as zoom calls or Netflix. Being stressed and confined will promote overeating as well as self-medication with alcohol or drugs. DO NOT inform the public about easy measures to boost resistance to disease, such as a nutritious diet, exercise, spending time in nature, sunshine, socializing, and taking vitamins, minerals, and anti-oxidants.

Since social interaction promotes health, let’s prevent that. No touching or face-to-face communication. Erect barriers to emotional connection by obscuring facial cues and muffling voices. Impose a bunch of rules to promote social strife (the media can help fuel the conflict). If we can generate enough fear, anyone raising questions will be policed by their own community and we won’t have to justify our rules.

Next, threaten livelihoods. Businesses can either be closed or made to comply with all kinds of burdensome regulations to make them unprofitable. Once the businesses have adapted to a set of regulations, be sure to change them so that no one gets comfortable or can anticipate what’s coming next.

Let’s close schools so parents can worry about their children’s future as well as how they are going to get childcare — if the parents are fortunate enough to still have a job. Keep these kids at home with the stressed adults and don’t let them out to play or spend time with friends.

The above measures will generate a great deal of anxiety and depression. GREAT! Anxiety and depression decrease immune function and increase alcohol abuse, drug abuse and violence. MORE SICKNESS and SUICIDES and CRIME. Just to be sure, don’t allow people to engage in things they love doing such as parties, sports, singing or dancing, or just visiting friends. Keep people hopeless and joyless.

Finally, let’s limit access to medical care. Don’t inform the public of the many measures they could take to aid recovery from an infection. And if any promising treatments are found, they should be immediately debunked in the media. A study can even be made up and published in a reputable journal to discredit the therapy.

That’s a foolproof plan to generate a sick population.

…Oh, wait. It’s already been done. Right here in Hawaii!